


you should always ask for what you need

by syriala



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Asexual Derek Hale, Cuddling & Snuggling, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, M/M, Mentioned Jennifer Blake, Mentioned Kate Argent, Past Rape/Non-con, past dub-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-03 01:33:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17274590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/syriala/pseuds/syriala
Summary: “But I won’t,” Derek said and pulled away, because he needed Peter to understand this. “I won’t ever touch you in a sexual manner. Never.”“Okay, sweetheart,” Peter easily gave back, and Derek could do nothing but gape at him.“How can this be okay? You love sex!”





	you should always ask for what you need

**Author's Note:**

> Kate and Jennifer are both mentioned as past relationships Derek had, and they both fucked him over, even though no one burned to death in this one.

Derek had known it would come to this eventually. Peter had kissed him, and Derek had eagerly responded, right until his brain had caught up with everything and then he had ignored Peter for a week, even though he wanted nothing more than to pull Peter close and never let him go again. Instead Derek had evaded Peter like his life depended on it, so of course eventually Peter just had to corner him.

Derek had expected this.

He still wasn’t ready to come home to find Peter on his couch, clearly waiting for him.

“I think maybe we should talk,” Peter said, and Derek deflated.

It had been inevitable, really, and he just wished he got more out of Peter than just one kiss before everything went to shit, but apparently that wasn’t meant for him.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” Peter said when Derek kept quiet for too long and Derek shrugged at that.

“Derek, if you don’t feel the same, it will not happen again. But it doesn’t have to mean that you have to avoid me. I can control myself,” Peter told him, and Derek felt the insane urge to laugh out loud at that.

“It’s not that,” he said instead, and Peter looked ready to shake the answer out of Derek if he shouldn’t come forth with it in the next few seconds.

“Then tell me what it is,” Peter imploringly said. “Otherwise I can’t fix it.”

“There’s nothing to fix,” Derek whispered and then raised his chin up high, because he wasn’t ashamed of his orientation.

He wasn’t prepared for the completely devastated look on Peter’s face and it was only then that he realized just how Peter apparently had taken his words.

“No, Peter, there’s nothing to fix because nothing is broken. _I’m_ not broken. But I’m ace, I’m not sexually attracted to you, and I won’t ever have sex with you. And I know you love sex, I see the various one-night stands you bring home almost regularly, and I could never—and you would ask me to make this an open relationship, would ask me if you can still sleep around, and—,” Derek took a deep, gulping breath here before he went on, “God help me, I would say yes, I would, because I want you to be happy, but it would kill me, I could never share—I don’t ever want to share you, I would die a little every time you come home smelling like someone else, but I know sex is important to you so, I can—I mean I probably can make myself—”

“Shut up,” Peter snapped at him and Derek flinched back, but in the next second Peter was pulling him forward into a hug.

“Do not ever say that you would force yourself to endure sex just to make me happy,” Peter pleadingly said.

Derek started to breathe at that again, and it was only now that he realized that he was trembling. He had just started to curl his fingers into Peter’s shirt, needing to hold on to him, when Peter already pulled away.

Derek whined, high in his throat and Peter cupped his cheeks in his hands.

“Shhh, pup, it’s okay. It’s okay,” he mumbled and rubbed their noses together.

“I just—I don’t want to share you,” Derek weakly got out and Peter pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“And I don’t want to be shared, darling. I don’t do open relationships. If you want this, if you’re romantically attracted to me, then we are in a relationship. Just us. I do not invite other people to share someone I love, I would never. And I do not want anyone but you to touch me.”

“But I won’t,” Derek said and pulled away, because he needed Peter to understand this. “I won’t ever touch you in a sexual manner. Never.”

“Okay, sweetheart,” Peter easily gave back, and Derek could do nothing but gape at him.

“How can this be okay? You love sex!”

“I do,” Peter admitted. “But I also have two healthy hands, a very vivid imagination, and a chest full of toys. I can more than make do with that.”

“But it won’t be enough at one point,” Derek weakly said, because it had happened before. Kate and Jennifer both had been understanding in the beginning and then, when it had turned out that he really meant _no sex ever_ that had changed.

“Derek,” Peter warningly said and his eyes flared blue for a second. “What happened?”

“Nothing,” Derek tried to appease him and then sigh when Peter just stared at him. “It’s not what you think, it’s not so bad. Kate and Jennifer, they just needed something more after a while.”

“And how did they get that?” Peter wanted to know, and Derek cringed even just from the memory.

“I slept with them,” he confessed.

“Why?” Peter asked, and Derek stared helplessly at him.

“Because it would have ended my relationship if I didn’t. Because Kate got me aroused and then it just happened.”

“Did you say no?”

“I don’t remember,” Derek whispered, even though it was a lie. He did still remember, he had told her no several times, but she had gotten him hard anyway and then said how it would be a waste to not use that. He had given in, then.

Peter clearly heard the lie in his heartbeat, because he took a few steadying breaths, before he very evenly said: “If you slept with Jennifer because she would have ended your relationship, then that is dubious consent at best. If Kate slept with you even after you said no, that’s rape.”

Derek flinched under that word, because he had never dared to see it that way, because he had been hard after all, and he had come, even if he hadn’t particularly enjoyed the experience, not during the act, and especially not afterwards.

“Derek, sweetheart, do you really think I would ever do something like that to you?” Peter carefully asked, and Derek shrugged helplessly.

He didn’t know anymore.

“I love you too much to ever hurt you like that, but also, think about it for a second. I can smell the misery coming off you in waves. Do you really think I enjoy that enough to get hard?”

“Probably not,” Derek muttered unsurely, even though deep down he hoped that Peter would never treat him like Kate and Jennifer had.

“Tell me your limits,” Peter suddenly said and threated their fingers together, pulling Derek slightly closer again, but still keeping a little bit of distance between them.

“I won’t _ever_ touch your dick,” Derek choked out and Peter made an encouraging sound. “I don’t want you to—I never—,” he stammered and made a helpless gesture at Peter’s groin and at his own, hoping to just get his point across without having to use words.

“The crotch is off limits, yours and mine, no matter what state, got it,” Peter thankfully said, and Derek could feel himself blush.

“This is nothing to be embarrassed about, my love,” Peter said and carefully pressed a kiss to Derek’s lips, giving him enough time to protest or move away.

“It really kinda is,” Derek muttered but leaned into the contact when Peter kissed him again.

“It’s about your comfort. There is _nothing_ to be embarrassed about,” Peter reiterated, and Derek could feel himself relax.

“I’m not sure about tongue,” he lowly admitted, and Peter hummed.

“During kissing or on your body?”

“Both,” Derek said and was rewarded with another kiss at that.

“What are things you enjoy?” Peter asked when Derek had stayed quite for a longer time.

“This,” Derek immediately said and leaned forward for another kiss. “Cuddling. Closeness,” he went on and Peter pulled him back into his arms, tucking Derek neatly against his side.

“Non-sexual intimacy,” he said and when Derek nodded, Peter buried his face in his hair. “I can absolutely work with that.”

“But won’t you—,” Derek started but trailed off, because everything was good right now and he didn’t know why he was trying to ruin it.

“Won’t I what, darling?” Peter gently prodded him, and Derek sighed.

“Won’t you get aroused?”

“Yes, I will,” Peter freely admitted. “Because I _am_ sexually attracted to you, but that still doesn’t mean you have to do anything about that. I can angle my erection away from you, and if it still bothers you, I can take care of it before we go back to snuggling or whatever it was we were doing before. My arousal is not your responsibility,” Peter firmly said, and Derek slumped against him.

“Fine,” he said, as if it was the worst thing ever, and he could feel Peter chuckle.

“Does that mean me kissing you has not scared you away?” Peter wanted to know and then hesitated. “Though I do apologize for slipping you some tongue.”

“You didn’t even know about that then,” Derek said while he rolled his eyes and slung his arms around Peter’s middle to squeeze him tight. “And yes, this means you kissing me has not scared me away. I was scared, but if you want to try it like this, with all these limitations—”

“Pup, you have to stop that. I will always want to try with you, and making sure you are comfortable and feeling safe, those are not limitations at all. Whatever you need, darling.”

“I like nicknames,” Derek admitted shyly, hiding his face in Peter’s shoulder.

“Then you shall have all of them, my heart,” Peter promptly said, and Derek laughed at that, trailing little kisses up Peter’s neck.

“I always wanted this, but I was too afraid,” Derek confessed, and Peter put a finger under his chin to raise his head.

“I never want you to be afraid when you’re with me, sweetheart. And if I overstep any lines, or you find anything else you don’t like, you tell me immediately.”

“Alright,” Derek agreed, and Peter captured his lips in a slow kiss, careful to keep their tongues out of it.

“Okay?” he whispered afterwards, and Derek darted in for another quick kiss before he could answer.

“More than,” he gave back, and Peter smiled at him in a way Derek had rarely ever see him smile.

If this was his reward for being honest about what he wanted and enjoyed, then he would make sure to always tell Peter. Because that smile was the most beautiful thing Derek had ever seen.


End file.
